White Male Read online

  When Jonathan had come to my apartment last Tuesday night all hot and angry, demanding a retraction and all night sex, I’d known in the back of my mind that I couldn't hold him to anything he said in the heat of passion. I was determined that tonight, before any crazy sex commenced, we’d get to know each other more and determine from there where all this was going. All week, he’d been sweet to me on the phone, acting like a real boyfriend.

  But I still had irrational fears; I was afraid to let myself fall for him if this wasn’t going to last. We needed to talk and I was adamant that I wasn't going to let him fuck me into forgetting relationship housekeeping today. I wasn't sure I’d be able to resist him if he pulled the moves though; but I hoped to delay it. My body reacted so powerfully to his advances and slid out of control of my rational mind. I’d never been this way sexually with a guy before. I’d never had mind blowing sex like this with Willis, my small dick ex, but I did throw myself at him in ways that made me cringe with shame. I’d argued with other women over him, I’d called him incessantly; I’d even occasionally turned a blind eye to some of the women he was cheating with just to keep the peace. Everybody told me dating an athlete in his league meant that women came with the territory; I’d tolerated that and made humiliating concessions until the day I snapped.

  Even after moving to Atlanta, if he’d told me to come back to LA in those early days when I was still pining for him, I'd have rushed back in a heartbeat. I was over him now, but the scars still remained. Shereen kept telling me to be careful about contaminating my future relationships with the bad experiences I’d had with Willis; I knew I was being overly sensitive and irrational with Jonathan because of it. But I was ready to walk if I had to. After Willis, I’d sooner get Jonathan before he got me. I’d promised myself to never be under someone’s complete control ever again.

  Chapter Fifteen

  For our dinner, I decided to cook a simple lemon and rosemary roast chicken dinner with herbed roast potato wedges and a fennel salad. I set to work in the kitchen, figuring out the brand new gadgets. His oven had never been used and still contained bits of packaging. The fridge only had water and juices but I wasn’t surprised to find the wine cooler stocked to the brim with expensive wines.

  I washed the salad greens and left them in a sieve to drip dry. I would mix them later with a Dijon vinaigrette just before serving. I seasoned the chicken and potatoes and placed them in the oven, then set the dining room table formally like I’d learnt back in LA. I intricately folded the cloth napkins that I found with the placemats and wiped the wine and water glasses thoroughly, before setting them on the table. I’d brought candles in glass candle holders with me and set them up; ready to light when I served dinner.

  After everything was set and a quick check on the dinner still cooking in the oven, I went upstairs to his bedroom to take a quick shower and applied very light makeup of lip gloss and eyeliner. I changed into a short, powder blue, casual, wrap dress and sandals, then touched up my hair that’d been styled that afternoon. When I went back downstairs, there was a heavenly aroma in the kitchen. I reduced the oven heat right down and looked out of the windows, noticing the sun was setting fast; the penthouse too high to hear the sounds of traffic below.

  While waiting for Jonathan to arrive, I sat on a kitchen barstool and worked on my laptop updating my résumé. My goal for this weekend was to polish it up, ready for possible distribution. I needed to do this if the relationship worked out and if it didn't work out. I was updating the latest section on my employment history with the company, when the elevator arrived. Jonathan was more beautiful than I’d ever seen him before. Dressed in casual Jeans and T-shirt, he looked down at me, smiling with a look of surprise on his face. He set his duffel bag and laptop bag down and sauntered towards me.

  "Hi honey, I'm home," he said, opening his arms to me, looking so male and sexy.

  I went into his arms and he picked me up and twirled me around for a moment. After he set me down, he lifted my chin and kissed me sweetly, putting both his hands on my butt and giving it a squeeze.

  “You look gorgeous, baby,” he said, giving me another kiss.

  “So do you,” I replied, pulling back a little to check him out. “Did you have a safe trip?”

  “Yes I did. It smells heavenly in here," he said walking in further, keeping a firm grip on my hand.

  "Did you decide to cook?"

  "Yeah I did.”

  "Oh baby, you are full of surprises,” he said pulling me to him and kissing me again. "Thank you; I’ve never cooked in this kitchen before."

  I kissed him back and squeezed his butt.

  "Thank me when you have eaten."

  Forty minutes later, Jonathan threw down his napkin and stood.

  "Lena, that was unbelievably delicious,” he said, leaning forward to kiss me. “You are the total package; thank-you.”

  I smiled at him, choosing to ignore his caveman compliment. I stood up and began clearing dishes away from the dining room. He followed me to the kitchen with the last remaining things.

  "Just leave it, the housekeeper will take care of it in the morning," he said pulling my arm.

  He grabbed the half-drunk bottle of wine and our glasses and we moved to the living room area and sat on the double couch. I removed my sandals and he immediately toed off his shoes. Barefoot Jonathan was always sexy.

  “Oh, I almost forgot; I got you something,” he said going to his bag. I could sense a little anxiety creeping in, hoping it wasn’t something ridiculously pricey.

  He came back and handed me an elaborately gilded, pretty brown box of DeLafée Swiss Chocolates. I opened it and found eight golden, chocolate truffles arranged around a hundred year old gold coin. I’d never heard of the brand but could clearly see they were special.

  I stood up and gave him a hug.

  “Thank you, Jonathan,” I said, giving him a kiss, not quite knowing what to make of it.

  We sat down and he lifted my legs and placed them on his lap then handed me a half-filled glass of wine while I tasted one of the truffles. I could feel his erection with my leg in his lap and I’d felt it when he hugged me on arrival. Throughout dinner I’d caught him giving me lustful glances. Ordinarily, he’d want to fuck immediately upon seeing me, but he was quite obviously holding himself back, talking about his trip and asking about my week. I wondered why.

  "Were you thinking about me, baby?" He asked, looking at me intently.

  "Yes."

  "Come here."

  I put my legs down and moved to sit in his lap, while he stroked my arm with the tips of his fingers, sipping his wine slowly. He set his glass on the table then leaned back to look at me.

  "Lena, you know I want you."

  I just had to roll my eyes and smile, thinking about his insatiable appetite for explosive sex.

  “No, you are not listening to me. I want you as my official girlfriend and I want our relationship to be public.” He was looking into my brown eyes with such intensity, it made me nervous.

  Shit. I had to look away; I’d not prepared for this. He turned my head to face him again.

  "I know you have misgivings about how this relationship will work and what people will think. But I want us to try; I have ... feelings for you."

  I didn't know what to say. He was finally saying something I’d wanted to hear and now the damn proverbial cat had swooped in and snatched my tongue.

  "I’ve just told you I want our relationship to be official. Say something," he pleaded, holding my hand.

  Deep down I’d wanted this. I didn’t just want to be his plaything. But now that he was stepping up, all I could see were obstacles in our way. To me, happily-ever-afters were not real. Fairy tales always had a wicked character lurking in the shadows waiting to hurt the unsuspecting lovers. Hell, even the Garden of Eden had a snake. I had to talk to him about the problems I anticipated.

  "Jonathan, I have feelings for you too. I'm just thinking about how the kind of relationshi
p you want will affect a lot of things..."

  "...like what?" His eyes were challenging and he’d stiffened defensively.

  "Your family, for example; I doubt that they’d be willing to see you dating someone like me."

  “Because you’re an employee?”

  I could tell he knew what I meant; perhaps he just didn’t want to face up to it.

  “That, and because I’m black.”

  "Everyone can piss off," he snapped, without breaking his gaze, releasing my hand.

  "This is my life and your life. If we like our relationship, then everyone has to deal with it or else they know what to do."

  “Which is?”

  “To go fuck themselves,” he snapped, as though it was quite obvious.

  Okay. So he did anticipate a problem. At least he didn't rush out and try to convince me that they’d love me at first sight. He knew there was a possibility they wouldn't like it.

  "And what about your family? How will they feel?" he asked taking my hand again.

  "If this was California, they’d be less worried. Because it's Georgia, I think they’d worry more about how I'm being treated by both your people and other black people who might be upset by it. But they’d be pretty open-minded, I think."

  “Atlanta doesn’t have prejudice, Lena. It’s only when we go outside of the metro area that we might encounter any issues.”

  I gave him a ‘don’t be stupid’ glare.

  “Seriously, Jonathan? Have you forgotten about our night at the movies?”

  He’d forgotten the fight he had with the thugs that harassed us. The Nadine incident was still too painful to bring up just now.

  “That was an isolated incident.”

  "What about my co-workers? And company policies?"

  He snorted. "It's not an issue for me, Lena. What's the point of being the boss if you can't do what you like?" he said dismissively.

  He was being unrealistic.

  "Jonathan, people at the office may be hostile towards me over perceived favor I'm getting and some of your old Southern clientele probably won’t like it either. You might need to consider that. I’d prefer if we kept it out of the office until I get another job."

  “What?” he said, shifting me out of his lap and looking at me as though I was insane. “You can’t resign, you are an asset to the company; your figures are amongst the best we have for a newbie.”

  “But a relationship with the boss is going to come across very badly in the office and the scandal may affect those figures.”

  "Well, you care more than I do. I've thought through all that and frankly, I don't have to deal with people who will get upset that you are my woman."

  A surge of something indescribable rushed through me. He called me ‘his woman’. I was ready to jump his bones but we had to have this conversation.

  "Jonathan, I really feel I need to leave the company if this is going to work. I would rather not have the reputation as the girl who rose up on her back."

  He sat forward, leaning his elbows on his thighs.

  "I really don't want you to leave. I've been wrestling with this; the company needs your talent. Perhaps we could transfer you to the other division in Midtown where you won't report to me directly, but you and your talent will remain within our group of companies. What do you think?"

  I had to think about this. I needed the details of the role and whether or not it was in line with the direction I wanted to go.

  "Well, send me the details; I'd have to think about it." I said and he nodded. "What about the tabloids? I can't appear with you in public until we sort out my career."

  "If that's what you want, but I really don't give a shit what they write; ninety-nine percent is lies anyway."

  "Did you sort out the issue with the photographer?"

  "It's under control. It’s sorted.”

  “What did you do?”

  “We finished with him and now he has fucked off to wherever scum like that goes."

  He stood up, opened the sliding doors to the balcony and went outside. He obviously didn't want to give me any details of it for some reason. I decided to leave it. We’d covered a lot of ground and talked more than ever before. Our relationship was on more solid ground now; this was progress.

  He stood there, leaning over the balcony for several minutes; contemplative.

  I didn't want our evening to end with any negativity. Perhaps I'd asked too many questions and presented too many obstacles? I couldn't tell. I followed him outside, and put my arms around him from the back.

  “Jonathan, are you okay?”

  “I will be,” he said, pulling my hands tighter around him.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  “Why we have to change our lives for other people. Why we should even consider them. This has never been an issue I’ve had to deal with before, wondering how anyone would be affected by my choices. It pisses me off just thinking about it.”

  “I understand,” I said, kissing his back.

  “I really don’t give a fuck, but you do; so I guess I have to go at your pace.”

  “Thank you, baby,” I answered, my voice muffled in his shirt.

  He turned around and held me in his arms.

  “Lena, I don’t want to talk about all this anymore tonight. I’ve missed you for over a week. I just want to go to bed with you right now. Finding you here when I got home is the most amazing feeling I’ve ever had. Do you know how much you mean to me, baby?”

  My heart melted at his words. He was right; he’d just come home from a long week away; I wanted him to be happy again. We were slowly working things out, but I didn’t want issues to be the focus anymore this evening. We had talked more than I’d ever hoped so I decided to drop it all; for now.

  “Let me take good care of you, baby,” I said, giving him a kiss on the lips.

  I walked back inside then opened my wrap dress, letting it slide to the floor where I stood. I was wearing lacy white underwear that I’d picked out from La Senza, with its barely-there lacy bits and cutouts in strategic areas. I walked towards the stairs, and heard the sliding doors shut as he came back inside. When I looked back at the base of the staircase, I saw him watching me intently, sweeping his eyes up and down my body.

  When I’d gone up halfway, I removed my bra and threw it over the railing and continued up, arms swinging by my sides framing my ass which I was swaying suggestively. Jonathan bounded up the stairs throwing off his shirt as he came and caught me just as I reached the last stair. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, wearing just his jeans. I squealed and laughed as he walked purposefully towards the bedroom with one hand on my ass and the other around my thighs.

  When we got to the bedroom he set me down, sliding my body close to his. With my nipples pressed against his chest he kissed me passionately, trailing his tongue down my neck. He removed his jeans and sat down on the bed kissing my belly while I stood in front of him. Then he slowly pulled down my panties and helped me step out of them, while trailing kisses all down each thigh.

  “I have missed this, Lena.”

  I groaned and threw my head back as he pulled me towards his waiting tongue, probing deliciously through the folds of my sex. He focused his attention on my clit, spreading my lips with two fingers so he could see it, then he gently sucked and licked around it, pulling it into his mouth with his lips. A flood of desire pooled in my sex, as my clit swelled with arousal. He could feel me building up to orgasm as I groaned and cried out with each lick and he didn't relent or slow down.

  “That’s how I like it, baby. Yes,” I hissed through my teeth.

  He maintained constant pressure and suction as I came apart in his mouth, barely able to remain standing. He turned me around to face away from him so he could kiss my butt while stroking it in circles. I bent over suggestively, swaying my ass in front of him as he continued to stroke me. Without warning, he put his arm around my waist and pulled me down onto his waiting cock, thrusting up power
fully from his seated position, bracing himself with one arm. The sudden onslaught had me screaming in surprise. I didn’t think I would ever get used to the sheer size of his girth as he filled my sex to capacity.

  "I can't believe this delicious ass is mine," he growled as he fucked my pussy.

  I pushed him back to lie down and began to move up and down on his cock, while he put his hands behind his head.

  “Is this how you want it?” I gasped, moving in delicious circles on his cock.

  "Yes baby, that's it. Move just like that," he commanded, watching me while I bounced up and down his cock.

  I looked down to where we were connected, aroused by how my dark lips were open to accommodate his thick white dick. I touched our connection to feel the slickness of his dick ramming my pussy.

  "Come on fuck, baby," he encouraged, slapping my butt. His unexpected assault spurred me on and I moved faster.

  "Come on, fuck!"

  I braced myself, placing one leg firmly on the ground and one hand on the bed. I moved up and down fast on his dick, clenching my sex tightly, knowing he’d feel me gripping him.

  “Come for me, daddy,” I panted, feeling his cock thickening inside my sex.

  He said something garbled and hoarse and he began to stiffen and jolt uncontrollably. He was no longer in control of himself as he growled out, jerking and spurting into my sex endlessly. He gripped my waist tightly, begging me to stop. I continued slamming right through his grip until it weakened, and he let go and began another orgasmic ascent, steeper than the other and came again hard, jerking up so much I bounced up down onto his dick repeatedly.

  His climax ripped mine out of me and I found my release, crying out with endless pleasure, the ripples of orgasm causing my body to shudder. My sex was slick and wet as I collapsed back onto his chest facing up to the ceiling. He struggled to catch his breath for several minutes. I tried to roll away when I thought my weight was stopping him from breathing comfortably but he pulled me back and held me firmly in his arms. I'd never seen him come so much and so forcefully. He placed me on the bed then rolled on top of me with his big body holding me close. He deftly slid his hard dick into my sex again and began fucking at a leisurely pace.