White Male Page 19

  After she’d changed out of her work clothes, she came back into the living room where I was seated, browsing my tablet for job listings in California.

  "Honey," she began while scrolling through her cell phone. "When I was still at work, I had a call from a Jonathan Carter. He said you work with him and forgot your cell phone, so he’ll be dropping it off here."

  What? I slammed my tablet cover shut.

  "Mom, when did he call you?"

  "About an hour ago; he said he’d be here at seven. He went to drop it off at your apartment but didn't find you there. He saw my missed call to you earlier and called me to ask if I knew where you were."

  It was 6.50pm. He’d arrive within 10 minutes. I was livid. The dumb bastard. How dare he? He was coming to my mother's house? Would I be welcome in his mother’s house?

  "How did he get the address, mom? Did you give it to him?"

  "Yes I did and he said he’ll come with someone who knows this area quite well. Honey, why are you looking panicked? Is there a problem?"

  There was a big problem. He was coming over to the quarters to try and make amends after humiliating me in front of the missus, I thought uncharitably. Well, he wasn't going to find me here. I ran to my purse to grab my car keys and slid on my flip flops.

  My mom followed me, confused about what was happening.

  "Mom, I’m going out for a bit. When Jona... Mr. Carter comes, just take my phone from him. He’s my boss so I don’t want to see him over the weekend. Dinner is in the oven. I'll be back in half an hour."

  I heard my mother's protests but didn't wait to find out what she was saying. I was out of there as fast as I could. I drove off and parked at a shopping plaza parking lot and switched off my car. My adrenaline rush was subsiding and I placed my head on my steering wheel; tears beginning to fall.

  How had I gotten myself into this mess? I knew from the beginning that this relationship was going to end badly. How did the amazing trip to the Bahamas end with this? I reclined my seat and lay back thinking. Should I really blame him for this? Of course I should, I convinced myself angrily. We’d kept our relationship a secret and now people in his life were finding out about me and getting upset about it. When it came to his mother finding out about us, she was evidently disgusted by me. I definitely didn't want to live as someone to be ashamed of. Besides, she’d said the love of his life Ashley was back? He’d never even mentioned her to me. Oh, was he going to claim his mother was ‘fake news’ too? I now realized that perhaps this relationship should never have gone on for as long as it did. I needed to face reality that as much as we’d enjoyed being with each other, it was never meant to be.

  When forty five minutes had passed since I ran away from home, I raised my seat, started the car and made my way back. I looked around, making sure the Tahoe was nowhere in sight, then parked behind my mother's car and walked to the front door. I was glad I’d escaped before he arrived and found me here. I knew his presence would distort my thoughts. The attraction we felt for one another was electric and all rational thought went out of the window whenever I was with him. Resolutions made would quickly succumb to the assault of his seduction. He knew just what I needed and aimed to please every time we’d been together. I opened the front door and entered the house.

  The scene that met me had me frozen at the door. My mother was sitting at the dining room table eating dinner; opposite her, was Jonathan Fucking Carter. He was just finishing up his plate of food. I glanced at Uncle Samson who was eating in front of the TV as he always did, then glanced behind me to scan the cars parked off street in the neighborhood. There was no sign of any of his cars. My face became grim as I stepped inside and shut the door. Jonathan stood up politely. My mom smiled at me and I scowled back.

  "Honey, where have you been?" she scolded. "We had to start dinner without you. I invited Jonathan to stay for dinner, so sit down and join us."

  My mom was one of those people that were oblivious to secret signs and signals. She was the type of person who, if you kicked her under the table, she would ask aloud, "who kicked me under the table?" So I didn't attempt to signal to ask her why she invited him in when I expected him to just leave as soon as he dropped my phone. My forty-five minute disappearance was to ensure than when he left, he wouldn't linger in the neighborhood and look out for me. Now he was here eating dinner with my mother.

  Jonathan sat down politely, seeming quite comfortable and unmoved by being in my mother's home. I battled my anger as it fought to rise to the surface. My mother was treating him like her own child, fussing over him; offering him more food and making him feel welcome. On the other hand, his mother had made my life hell and mistreated me worse than anybody in my entire existence. The irony! I felt like kicking him out but knew my mother would sooner kick me out than watch me being rude to her guest. If I said I wasn't hungry, my mother would consider that rude behavior too. I sat down, unsmiling, beside my mom. Jonathan was eating another helping.

  "This is delicious, Mrs. Williams."

  "Oh I didn't cook, it was my Lena. Ain't she a great cook?" my mother beamed proudly at my kitchen prowess.

  "She certainly is ma'am," he agreed, glancing at me.

  I dished a tiny morsel of food; I'd lost my appetite. My mother spoke a mile a minute, Jonathan listening and nodding intently and laughing at appropriate moments. I could see she’d been thoroughly charmed by him. I merely pushed around the bits on my plate and barely ate or spoke.

  After his second helping was cleared, he declined more offers and thanked my mother for inviting him, then complimented me on the meal again. I nodded in response, averting my gaze.

  "Mrs. Williams, I’ll be leaving now, it was a pleasure and an honor to meet you ma'am," he drawled standing up. Why did he sound so Southern all of a sudden? His manners were pissing me off.

  "We hope to see you again, Jonathan," my mother responded, looking from me to him.

  He headed towards the door with my mother. I remained seated. I saw my mother's smile turn to a stern scowl and not wanting her to reprimand me, I walked towards them.

  "Thank you for bringing my phone," I said, solely for my mother’s benefit; averting my gaze.

  "You're welcome, Lena. Can you walk me outside? Jackson is just around the corner." Okay, so he’d come with Jackson and had him hide somewhere, then finagled a dinner out of my mother. He was one cunning bastard.

  He kissed my mother on the cheek and she ushered us out and closed the door. He made a two-second phone call to Jackson to pick him up. We went down the steps of the porch in awkward silence. He spoke first.

  “You left your birthday gifts behind when you left me earlier,” he said, daring to look offended.

  I snorted. “I’ve changed my mind; I can no longer accept them.”

  I wasn’t for sale, but trust him to try buying his way out with a Mercedes, diamonds and an unlimited spending card.

  "Lena, I'm sorry about what happened. We have to talk about this." My anger that’d been bubbling beneath the surface shot straight up.

  "I'm done talking. There is nothing left to say."

  “Lena, you can’t break up with me over this. No-one said it would be easy. We have to fight for this. Please, baby.”

  “I can’t fight your family for you, Jonathan.”

  He stopped to face me, looking grim and determined.

  "We’re going to work things out, Lena. You can’t run from me every time we face a challenge."

  “I’m not willing to face a challenge that involves you and your family being ashamed of me.”

  He uncoiled swiftly, facing me; his jaw firmly set.

  “And what about you, Lena? You’ve not introduced me to your mother as your boyfriend, maybe because you’re ashamed of me. Will you walk with me hand on hand on this street? Proud to show everyone that you’re with me?”

  "How dare you come to do this here?" I spoke through gritted teeth, suppressing my desire to punch him in the face.

  "Comin
g here was the only way I could see you after what happened. You came here to hide from me,” he retorted angrily.

  "I have nothing to say to you, Mr. Carter. I don't want anything more to do with you. This whole relationship was a mistake and it should never have happened. I’ll be resigning from the company as soon as I can. Please just leave." My tone was harsh and final.

  Just then, the lights of the Tahoe approached the house.

  He ran his hand through his hair in frustration and shook his head.

  "There is a crisis in New York so I’m going back there on Monday and I’ll be back Thursday afternoon. Come to the penthouse, Thursday night at 7. After that I won't bother you again. Please?" I saw the pleading look in his eyes, as he waited for my reply. It was as though he would try something else if I refused and I just wanted him to go.

  "Fine."

  He breathed a sigh of relief.

  "Thank you. I'll call you."

  He squeezed my arm and tried to give me a kiss. I averted my face, his kiss landing on my cheek.

  He gave me a long look, then sauntered up to the Tahoe, opened the front passenger door and was gone. I stood there for a few minutes, until I saw my mother peering through the drapes. I made my way back inside and found her waiting for me.

  "Sit down, honey."

  She sat down opposite me.

  "Honey, are you having an affair with your boss?" she demanded.

  "No." Not anymore.

  "Well, it certainly looks like something is happening between you two."

  "No mama, I already have a man," I lied.

  She shifted in her seat.

  "Oh honey, is it serious? Where did you meet him?"

  "At work," I sighed. Now I'd stupidly lied to my mother and she’d be bombarding me with questions about it. She began firing off questions about his job, his age and I mingled Jonathan's details with the imaginary, beautiful, black man I’d created to make her stop asking about my boss. Luckily my mother tried not to do more than give good advice then let me figure out the rest.

  "Well, he sounds like a nice young man. But it’d be unprofessional for you to date him while you’re working there, don't you think?"

  "I know mom. But worse than that, I don't think his family is happy about me dating him."

  I didn't want to give her my full report on what’d happened. My mother was the type to call his mother and let her have it.

  "How does he feel about you?"

  "It’s complicated, mom. But his family and some of his friends are not very supportive about this."

  She sat forward to face me directly.

  "Honey, when your father and I were still together, we vowed to always raise you with a sense of pride in yourself and who you are. It's not whether you’re good enough for their son. My concern is, is their son good enough for you? So how he treats you is more important than what others think. He can't be held responsible for everything other people do."

  "Thanks mom." I had many arguments racing through my head, but my mother wasn't the right outlet for venting. I finished clearing up the dishes and went to sleep in my mother's bed.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Monday was hectic as I had a lot of work to do. I’d typed my resignation letter, and held onto it; pending my meeting with Jonathan on Thursday evening. When I arrived at the office he’d already left for New York. I spent most of the day offsite, visiting client offices and doing a couple of presentations and follow up meetings.

  Monday night at home I was eating a TV dinner, flipping through the channels. A celebrity weekend round up show caught my attention. The report was about Sunday night, where Jonathan was dining with his parents and long-time fiancée Ashley Maddock, socialite and daughter of a billionaire mega financier from Texas. There was a photograph of Jonathan and his parents together with stunning, blonde Ashley. The report had circled a large rock on Ashley’s finger; an engagement ring. She’d reportedly rushed back to Jonathan after hearing about Isabella who Jonathan had used to make Ashley jealous enough to return. Jonathan and Ashley were celebrating the engagement with his family.

  I felt sick as I watched the report. The quality of the photographs showed they’d been taken professionally in an exclusive restaurant in Buckhead. He’d always denied all other tabloid reports, but I’d only taken him at his word and never really investigated. Had I been a fool? Clearly they’d dined with his parents and Ashley. Clearly she was wearing a ring. It couldn’t get any more obvious that something was going on between them. His mother had mentioned her as the ‘love of his life’ and when she talked about Ashley, he’d reacted oddly to news that she was in town. So I deduced that Sunday night, he’d gone to be with her and his parents while they celebrated their engagement. Is this what he’d promised his mother when he soothed her? I switched off my TV and sat up.

  Realizing that his mother wasn’t lying and there was indeed a fiancée cut me to the quick. The pain in my heart was palpable. So what did he want to see me for on Thursday? To tell me he was getting married to Ashley who I’d never heard of until now? Or he wanted me in his penthouse for an epic goodbye fuck? Or a permanent arrangement where I’d be his grateful side piece, while him and Ashley wed? I formulated a plan in my mind, angry that my past bad experiences had turned me into a calculating, suspicious person who couldn’t trust anybody. As I was thinking, I remembered that I’d covertly memorized Isabella’s phone number from his phone and saved it to mine. Now was the time to call her. She answered after a few rings.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi Isabella.”

  “Who is this?”She asked in her thick, foreign accent.

  “I don’t know if you remember me? My name is Lena; I met you at the First Banking Trust mixer; you came with Jonathan Carter.”

  She paused.

  “The pretty black girl with sexy body? Yes I remember you, Lena.”

  I tried not to drink in the compliment; I had a job to do.

  “Isabella, I know it’s none of my business, but I thought you were dating Jonathan?”

  Another pause, then she laughed out loud.

  “No, we are not dating. The media is lie. He is like a brother. Why you ask?”

  “Because I just saw on TV that he was engaged to Ashley Maddock?”

  “They were engaged long time ago. I guess they are back together.”

  “Well, I just wanted to give him my congratulations, so I wanted to first check with someone close to him.”

  “Okay, tell him I say congratulations too.”

  “Thank-you Isabella.”

  She knew about the engagement? They were engaged a long time ago? I’d heard enough; I ended the call.

  As the full revelation hit me, the last remaining hope I had was shattered. I would resign first thing in the morning then I’d move back to California as soon as possible. I’d forfeit my deposit on the apartment; then arrange for my car to follow later. I couldn’t even be in the same city as him for a moment longer. The more I thought about it, the more I was shaking with anger and disappointment at this final humiliation. I was all cried out. I just needed to get through the logical steps I needed to take, to extricate myself from Jonathan Engaged Carter. I realized now why companies frown on workplace romances. It was for this exact reason that when things didn't work out, the parties involved didn't want to work together ever again.

  The next morning, I dropped my immediate resignation on Mr. Baker's desk, blaming a personal emergency as the reason for my sudden decision. I’d deliberately booked an appointment for Tuesday morning so I could avoid Tuesday's weekly meeting and too many questions about my leaving. When I returned to the office, my coworkers came up to me to express their regret at my imminent departure; it’d apparently been announced in the morning meeting that I’d resigned. I didn’t tell anybody I was going back to California. After a lengthy, awkward meeting with Mr. Baker, I prepared briefs on each prospect I was working on so they could be distributed amongst my coworkers. At the end of the day
, I packed my personal belongings and left.

  ****

  Flights home to LA were expensive. The cheapest ticket I could get was for Thursday late night, although I’d wanted to leave earlier so I’d be long gone by the time Jonathan was expecting me. He was expecting me Thursday night and didn’t know I was no longer coming. I was not going to excuse myself; I just wouldn't show up.

  In the end, the Thursday flight gave me time to pack my stuff and drop off what I couldn't take with me to storage for shipping in a couple of weeks. The furniture and appliances came with the apartment and I’d give my flat screen TV to my mom. I spent a frantic Wednesday and Thursday clearing things out and went to see my mother Thursday evening on my way to the airport, asking my cousin Tamika to drop me off at the airport since she would be using my car until I could get it to California. My flight was at 1135pm and I hoped to get to the airport by 9pm.

  Whilst my mother was yelling at me and demanding an explanation on my sudden departure, I got a message from Jonathan at 7.30pm.

  “I was expecting you at 7?”

  I didn't reply. I knew if I opened even an inch he’d bust right back into my life and the hurt would only get worse. Before I knew it, I’d continue to sleep with him while he was married to Ashley, the perfect woman his family loved; the one he was celebrating his engagement with on Sunday night. His mother told me to go back to wherever I came from; that’s exactly what I was doing.

  A few minutes later, “Don’t Let Go” started playing on my phone. I ignored him. As soon as each call ended, he’d call again and again until I switched my phone off to preserve my sanity.

  When Tamika dropped me off at the airport I switched on my phone only to find endless messages from Jonathan, begging me to answer his calls. I sighed heavily, wondering whether or not to reply. In the end, just as I was boarding, I sent him a text: