White Male Page 25

  "We have nothing to talk about," I snapped back at him.

  "Oh my God. I'm not putting up with any of your bullshit today. Not this time, Lena."

  He looked at me, looked at my belly then shook his head. His hands were gripping the steering wheel with such strength, his knuckles were white. We rode the rest of the way in silence except for the voice of the GPS directing us to the condo.

  Chapter Thirty

  Jonathan drove straight into the underground parking garage of his condo building and came around to my door to gently ease me out. I wasn't that fragile but I knew better than to tell him that. We took the elevator up to his floor and he let us into the condo where he ‘interviewed’ me last time.

  He shut the door and led us to the sparsely furnished living room. He helped me sit down on the couch, then he sat down on the coffee table directly in front of me, leaning forward on his thighs with his elbows, tenting his fingers. He was looking at me with a mixture of revulsion and disbelief.

  "Why would you do this?"

  "What have I done, exactly?"

  "Lena, don't fuck me around, I swear to God...” He stood up and paced then came to stand beside me. He took a deep breath attempting to calm himself then faced me again, his jaw tense.

  “Lena, I want to hear it from you. Who is the owner of this pregnancy?”

  "This is not your baby, Jonathan. I'm sorry."

  He picked up an empty vase that was on a small side table then threw it at a painting on the wall. The painting crashed to the ground and its glass cover shattered. I’d never seen him this furious. I wasn't going to take it anymore. He was out of control and I needed to leave immediately. I stood up and began walking towards the door. In a few quick strides he’d gone ahead of me. He locked the door and bolted it.

  "You are not going anywhere," he shouted, livid and pacing angrily. "We are not going to leave this place until you tell me the truth."

  "You have no right to keep me here as your prisoner, I'm not your damn slave!"

  "Oh really? The race thing again? Well, fuck it. Not after what you have done.”

  “You’re treating me like shit, Jonathan. So I want to leave NOW,” I demanded rattling the door.

  “And you’ve treated me like shit too, Lena.” His face was a mask of rage. I’d never seen him this boiling mad.

  “Jonathan. Open the damn door!” I shouted hysterically.

  “No. I don’t give a fuck what you want anymore, Lena. You will stay here and you will tell me everything, or else."

  "Or else what?"

  "Exactly." There was a veiled threat in that single word.

  "What are you planning to do, Jonathan? What is it you want from me?" I felt the tears streaming down my face. He came up to me and put out his arms towards me, hesitated then put them down. I could see he was waging an internal battle of some sort. Then I watched as he set his jaw as if he’d made a decision.

  "If this is pregnancy is mine and you are keeping it from me, I will leave no stone unturned to ensure I get my rights enforced. I will spend every cent I have to fight for my child. So for both our sakes, I suggest you tell the truth about what is going on."

  I stood rooted to the floor in horror at his threat and the ugliness of his words. I couldn't believe he’d threaten to use his money to fight me for this baby. I began to panic and teetered backwards. He lurched forward with lightning speed and put his arm around me, leading me back to the couch and helped me sit down. He sat before me again on the coffee table his eyes filled with concern. He squeezed my knee.

  "Baby, are you okay?"

  I dashed the tears away.

  "How can you ask me if I'm okay, when you’ve just threatened to take my baby away?"

  He took a deep breath , looked down for a moment then looked at me.

  "Lena, look. I'm sorry. I'm just really angry, confused and overwhelmed. I... I just need answers. Why can't you just tell me the tru---"

  I cut him off.

  "It's your baby."

  He sat silent for a moment then stood up and paced up and down, agitated; with both his hands knitted behind his head.

  "Why would you do this? Why the hell would you keep this from me?"

  "Because it had to be this way."

  “Didn’t you do enough when you broke my fucking heart and now you wanted to rip it out completely by keeping my child from me?”

  I lowered my face into my hands, unable to cope with his hurtful words. I hadn’t done this to hurt him. He continued.

  "Were you ever going to tell me?"

  "I don't know."

  "Don't you think I would have wanted to know?"

  "Jonathan, we broke up."

  "We didn't break up; you left me."

  "You were giving up your whole life for us to be together, Jonathan. I couldn't separate you from everything and everyone you love just to be with me."

  "It wasn't your decision to make," he snapped angrily. "Don't I get to decide what I want? I wanted you, God damn it."

  "You were going to cut your parents off to be with me. You wanted to leave the empire your family built and that was going to be all my doing. I didn't want to be responsible for tearing your family apart." I felt my tears falling unbidden. He stood several feet away, looking away from me with his hands on his hip, his eyes toward the ceiling.

  "And what about the baby?"

  "I got pregnant during our last time together.” He turned around swiftly, facing me with fury etched in his features.

  “My God, Lena. I don’t get why you thought it was okay to do this,” he shouted. “I would have taken care of you. You are carrying my child and that makes me responsible for you and your well-being and you took that away from me. Damn it, Lena!”

  “Your mother hated me on sight. She cried for you when she saw me and I knew if you found out I was pregnant you would never be able to move on. My baby and I would destroy your family."

  "This baby IS my family.” He shouted furiously. “I'm the father. I have God damned rights too. You can't just decide everything about my child without my consent." He looked at me as though I’d totally betrayed him. I stood up and let him see my resolve.

  "I don't care about your millions spent suing me, but I'm not letting my child grow up wondering why his father's family hates him for no other reason than being black."

  His face melted from fury to bewilderment.

  "Him? Are we having a boy?" He walked towards me and gripped my shoulders.

  I hesitated.

  "Yes, it's a boy." He looked into my eyes then pulled me to him, holding me tight.

  "My God, Lena; we’re having a son!" He was trembling and fighting back tears.

  After a moment’s hesitation, I hugged him back and we stood like that for several minutes, just absorbing everything that had taken place. Just then, the baby chose to give a swift kick. Jonathan pulled back quickly.

  "I felt that! Oh fuck! Oops, I'd better stop swearing before he's born. Do you mind if I..."

  "Sure."

  He knelt on the floor and placed his ear on my belly. The baby gave a few more kicks and twists and Jonathan was like a kid in a candy store, enjoying this moment with his child. I couldn't help smiling at his excitement. I needed to figure out a way forward from this. He’d said some hurtful things, but I imagined how I might feel if someone chose to hide my baby away from me. He stood up, pulling me gently into his arms.

  "Baby, I'm sorry," he said showing genuine concern and guilt. It made me feel remorseful.

  "No Jonathan, I'm sorry."

  He shook his head. "Hear me out." He began, and he sat on the couch, pulling me down into his lap and stroking my back gently.

  "I'm sorry you've had to go through this alone. I wish I could have been there for you; caring for you, spoiling you."

  I tried hard not to rehash the fight we’d just had and remain angry about the ugly things he’d said. Seeing his fury at my concealment and then his joy at the prospect of having a son, I ha
d to concede that I hadn’t handled the situation appropriately.

  "I didn't let you. I'm sorry too. I never stopped to think about what you'd want."

  "Lena, you can't shut me out. I never stopped loving you. When you broke up with me, I made it clear to my parents I wasn't going to marry Ashley. I took Ashley out to dinner and told her all about you and she finally understood and she’s moving on with her life. Nothing sexual ever happened between me and her since she came back.”

  "I’m sorry about telling you I was with Willis. I went out to dinner with him but I wasn't seeing him; I just said that to make you give up on us."

  "The minute your mother told me you were seven months pregnant, I knew it was mine."

  "Oh really? You thought I hadn't seen anybody else?"

  "I made my investigations and established you weren’t together with Willis. When I got back to Atlanta from my travels, I called your mother to find out how you were and she told me you were pregnant by a boyfriend from Atlanta. I remembered that day when we made love; I didn't quite make it. I came deep inside you, baby. I pulled out when it was too late. I should have checked on you earlier, but when I saw those tabloid pictures of you with Willis after you dumped me, at first I didn’t want to face that I’d lost you. I only found out months later that nothing was happening with him.”

  I sighed and shook my head.

  "Well, here we are... And now, you’re being forced to be a father to a child you never wanted."

  “What?” he snapped, giving me a disbelieving glare. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I want this child, especially with you. I want you to know I never gave up on us; I was coming back for you. This baby is my chance. I can’t even say I’m sorry for knocking you up. I feel like I’ve won the lottery.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “The lottery? Really, Jonathan?” With his wealth, how could he know what winning the lottery means.

  “Well, for me this is winning. No matter what happens from now on, you and I will always share this,” he said, giving my belly a pat.

  Seeing his excitement about being a father, I thought of all the suffering I’d put him through when I thought I was doing what’s best for him. My heart was bursting with regret and shame. I’d almost destroyed him; I was no different from what his parents were doing to him. We were all guilty of not letting him make his own choices. I could choose who I wanted to marry, but I couldn’t keep Jonathan from his son. I felt a sob rising in my gut.

  “Jonathan, I’m so sorry for doing this to you. I … I thought I was doing the right thing. I’m sorry,” I sobbed, between the words of my apology.

  He hugged me to him and held me close. “Shhhh, baby. It’s done. We can’t look at the past now. I mishandled some things as well. Let’s forget about everything. We have a son on the way and I don’t want to waste another moment on the past. It’s over.”

  He held me until I raised my head and dried my eyes.

  “Look how well you’ve done, caring for our son all by yourself,” he said, wiping away a stray tear. “Thank you; I’m in awe of you, Lena.”

  “Thank you, Jonathan,” I sniffed, kissing him on his head.

  "Look I'm here for a few days. I thought it would take longer to break you down, so I sent the jet back to Georgia for other errands."

  "Break me down?" I asked indignantly.

  "Yes, I wanted to hear it from you."

  I stood up.

  "Can I go home now?" I asked rolling my eyes. "Can I be set free?"

  "Can't you stay the night?"

  "I'd have to tell my dad first."

  "Call him."

  "Let me drive there, speak to him and get some clothes; I'll be back in an hour and a half?"

  "You think I'm ever going to let you out of my sight ever again? I'll drive you. Let's go."

  Chapter Thirty One

  We got home and after briefing my dad on the situation and properly introducing him to Jonathan, I left them talking while I ran upstairs to pack a bag and quickly freshen up. When I came down twenty minutes later, my dad seemed to be warming up to Jonathan, and they were clinking glasses and each drinking a Scotch. My father had never warmed up to any guy I’d dated my whole life, and he’d certainly never offered them his imported Chivas Regal whisky.

  "What was that about?" I asked Jonathan later on the ride to the condo.

  "I guess he finds me more charming than you do," he laughed.

  When we got to the condo, he gave me a familiar, dark look before he disappeared into his bedroom for a while to make some calls. I knew what was coming. I’d done a quick freshen up at home, changing out of my comfy panties and maternity bra into something cuter. But I was feeling self-conscious about my body. I’d drastically changed from a tiny-waisted, young woman with a nice firm round booty and size C cup, to a huge belly, double-D cup, pregnant woman. I’d been extra horny for the last few months and just put it down to hormones and I could tell from the way he was eyeing me, he was excited about making love to me.

  My mind went back to the niggling thoughts of our future. How would we do this? Would we share custody? Would we try to live together? How much would he be involved in my... our son's life? His family… would he tell them? I wandered over to the large windows of the living room, processing every scenario in my mind and getting ready to negotiate for what I was willing to live with. He interrupted my thoughts when he came back fifteen minutes later, ending a call on his cell phone.

  “I can see you thinking, Lena. I don't want you to over-think anything. We have to finish our talk."

  "I'm really trying."

  "I know."

  I was grateful he knew me well enough to know that I liked clarity on things.

  “I've just come off the phone with my parents,” he continued. “I don't really care what they think, but I know you care. I told them everything and that I'm having a baby with you. They are a quite shocked but have invited us back to Georgia to talk things through if you want to go. If you don't I'm happy too."

  I shrugged weakly. “Well, I hope they can cope with this revelation,” I said wistfully.

  Jonathan came and knelt on one knee before me, taking my hands into his.

  "Lena, we are having a baby. I want to be in my son's life without a doubt. I don't want to share custody; I don't want my son to grow up being apart from either of us. My son must wake up in the same home as me every day.”

  He reached around the back of his neck to unclasp his gold chain. On it was a stunning white gold ring, crowned with a solitary black diamond encircled by a halo of white diamonds. More white diamonds cascaded all around the ring. My heart was pounding hard in my chest.

  "I've been wearing this around my neck for months.”

  I gasped at the beauty and uniqueness of it. “It’s beautiful, Jonathan. Why were you wearing it around your neck?”

  “I didn't want to not have it if I ever got the opportunity to ask you to be my wife. I've already asked your father and he gave me his blessing."

  "What?" I was stunned.

  "Yes. He threatened me first, then we shared a toast."

  "Don't I get a say?"

  "I'm asking you now."

  I was shaking with a mixture of excitement and misgivings. I loved this man and I wanted to be with him, but I had to see what the future held first before making a commitment.

  "I can see you talking yourself out of this," he said standing up. "I'm not letting you get away from me; not this time. I'm going to do whatever it takes to convince you to say yes to me."

  He took my hand and led me towards the bedroom. He pulled off his T-shirt exposing a ripped torso with maximum muscle definition.

  “Jonathan, why is your body cut like that?” I gasped, shocked at the extremes he’d gone to.

  “Without you keeping me on my toes with your insatiable appetite, I’ve had nothing else to do in my free time, to take my mind of you, baby.”

  I ran my fingers along the deep ridges of his abs, while he looked
at me up and down, as though he had wicked plans for me. His snug jeans hung low on his hips, exposing that V taper he knew drove me crazy. He toed off his shoes then pulled me to him, knowing full well the effect he was having on me. He pulled up my shirt over my head. When he saw my breasts he couldn't hide his surprise at their size.

  "Are these real?" he asked, seriously.

  I rolled my eyes, smiling shyly.

  "Of course they are.”

  He was in awe of my body as he gently stripped off all my clothes leaving me completely naked, then sat me on the edge of the bed. He knelt on the floor between my knees, kissing me passionately and stroking his tongue with mine; then planting kisses all over my body.

  "I'm responsible for this," he said, kissing my belly repeatedly and reverently.

  "Let me take care of you, of both of you. I'll love you both and protect you with my life."

  He pulled my face to his and kissed me deeply, sucking erotically on my tongue until I was moaning with desire for him. He pushed me back onto the bed and opened my knees, running his tongue through my moist slit.

  "I've missed this, I've missed you, baby." he said tonguing me expertly, sucking on my clit in just the way he knew I liked it. I couldn’t see him with my belly in the way; but I could feel him and it felt good.

  "I've missed you too, Jonathan," I gasped, trying to absorb the sensations running through my body. His attention to my body was with a single focus; to bring me as much pleasure as possible. His hands were shaking and I could sense his underlying anxiety as he licked and sucked me leisurely at first, then hard and fast, wanting to please me. He was determined to show me all I was missing when I left him.

  "No one can love you like I do baby," he told me. "No one loves this pussy like I do."

  His words aroused me beyond all self control and I churned my hips restlessly, giving him more access to my sex. My orgasm ripped through me, like glass shattering into a million tiny pieces, then jolting bolts of electricity ran through my core.

  He gave me a moment to recover then he pulled me up and off the bed and took me to a couch in the bedroom. He pulled off his jeans, exposing his magnificent erection and sat down on the couch, shifting his hips down to the edge.